VIDEO: The Single Life: The Science Of Love

My Title:  Proof That People Are Terrified Of Being Alone

The question that is asked is, if you could wake up tomorrow and either be single or in a relationship, which would you choose?

Of course, the question is pretty vague. The guy asking the questions claims they asked a total of 90 different people this question and all 90 replied they would rather be in a relationship, without any qualifications as to who this supposed person is.

If that question had been posed to me, the first thing out of my mouth would have been: ‘Be in a relationship with whom? Who is this person? Why are you asking me a hypothetical question about something that by its very nature is anything but hypothetical, but instead individualistic and personal?’ No specifics about anything are given about who this supposed person is; just, do you want to be in a relationship? And all 90 responded yes.

The question should have been, ‘How desperate are you to be in a relationship?’ Because that, in essence, is what they asked. And all 90 responses claimed that they are indeed very desperate. This tells me one thing:

People are terrified of being alone. Absolutely terrified.

I understand wanting companionship and I understand not wanting loneliness. What I don’t understand is being so desperate for that companionship and so terrified of being alone that your knee-jerk reaction when you’re asked a question with no qualifications like this is that you want to be in a relationship, without even acknowledging, or maybe even knowing, that being in a relationship with the wrong person can be a nightmare that is much, much worse than being alone.

There’s a reason why a large segment of single folk are proud to be unattached. Because they know, and many times have learned the hard way, that being single is much more preferrable than getting involved with the wrong person. This be-in-a-relationship-at-all-cost mentality (which many do indeed have) is not only wrong, but is unhealthy and is the underlying attitude behind why so many who are in downright abusive relationships don’t have the courage to leave. They’re terrified of being alone.

I get it that this is supposed be a well-intentioned, feel-good video about taking a risk in telling someone you’re interested in them. I think it sends the wrong message and encourages people to act without thinking when it comes to relationships, though. The rest of the video is the interviewees making awkward phone calls to people they think would make good boyfriends or girlfriends.

And this video is called The Science Of Love.  Not surprisingly, I saw very little science on display. This act-before-thinking mentality when it comes to relationships, which is fed by countless movies and novels and is pretty much pervasive in our culture, is unhealthy and at times damaging to us as people.


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